Yesterday after hearing the verdict, I was not really shocked, but I just felt this numbness. I was upset and just had a long time trying to get my mind settles enough to finally get to sleep. This morning I woke up and I no longer felt numbness, I felt anger. And not the normal kind of anger at stubbing your toe, or angry cause I’m broke, but this quiet, festering anger that just seemed to get stronger as the day goes by and as I read the reactions from both side of the divide and I just had to stop watching tv or reading twitter. That anger is still festering and simmering under the surface. To know me is to know that I’m not a volatile person. I’m pretty even-handed when it comes to the justice system, I don’t trust it, but I realize that we have to live within it. But as African Americans, I suspect that majority of us feel the same particularly when it comes to the justice system.
I’m angry. That’s it. I don’t feel violent, I don’t feel reactive, I FEEL ANGRY! And right now, I don’t want to hear anything about this being “the right verdict” or about “respecting the verdict” or “why are people so surprised”. I don’t want to hear anything about SYG, or about white on black crime or any other reasoning people have been using to create “calm”. Can Black folk just for right now be allowed to be damn angry and not RATIONAL and not LOGICAL, just ANGRY. without someone trying to calm us down.
I AM ANGRY. I damn I think we deserve at least the day to rant and rave in anger and not LOGIC. That way at least we can go to work on Monday in our probably majority white work place and public places and not feel the need to scream in white folks faces!